Learning from Pen Work with a Problem

When you make lines with a pen...you're committed, as they say.  Pen is the medium I chose for a recent drawing from a reference photo.  

In the first version of the photo of a sculpture (below), the image was outlined with pen, the features/details were done with pen, and the shading was done with pencil (using 120 lb. Sketchbook paper).  Overall, I'm very happy with the body.  That said, the drawing of the face/hair is underwhelming.  The actual sculpture's face is looking upward with the viewer seemingly looking up to it.  It also has a slight tilt and the eyes look upward toward the baton.  This first face definitely doesn't convey any of those things in its expression.  

Taking a sheet of copy paper, I traced the outline of the face and hair above, and then did another version (see below).  You can see there is some improvement -- in that the eyes are looking upward though the tilt and general sense of the face shape are skewed.

Meriting another try, I again used copy paper to trace the face and hair shape, and finished it as you can see in the image below.  It is far superior to the other two.  You can tell you're looking upward towards her face because of seeing more of the nostril/fuller bottom of the nose -- while her facial framing, with eyes looking upward, is more believable.   

Ultimately, if you're not satisfied with a first effort...try re-making the area(s) you're unhappy with and keep them as if you had a paper doll and could change out one for another.  This is a way of seeing, learning and practice.